I had a meeting recently with an Elder from my new church. Lovely chap. I had been very careful before he came, to pray to God and I asked Him to make sure I didn’t say anything He didn’t want me to say, and I asked that He would help me to glorify Him.
I didn’t know if the subject of my love of the law would come up, but it did, and I explained carefully and kept it brief. The Elder’s reaction was pretty usual (in fact you can see an example from a commenter on this post: Link) – it was to ask about clothes of more than one thread.
I very simply replied that it’s not doable – that I’d looked into it, and I couldn’t find a way to do it. However, I said that I accept it as part of God’s Law, and wish I could do it.
After he’d left, saying he’d invite me over for Sunday lunch (which he has, so I’m not a total pariah!) I expected to tear apart my words to him – I usually do. I so often second-guess things I’ve said, and worry that I’ve said the wrong thing. But I didn’t – in fact I felt an overwhelming sense of love for God, and a real inner peace.
The vital thing for me, though, is that I did say to the Elder that I won’t discuss my beliefs in church – I said that I’ve not come to do that. I have a few reasons and I want to share them with you – I hope they’ll help you in your walk, if you’ve come across this issue and aren’t sure what to do.
- I’m a woman and it’s not my role to teach, but to support – in this way it was important to share what I know with the Elder, and I certainly would say the same to the Pasor, but not outside the leadership. If there is relevance to that congregation from my words and views, it should come from the mouth of the Pastor and leadership, not out of my mouth.
- If I were to speak about it to anyone there within the congregation it could cause them to fall away – it’s so easy when someone is hurt by the leadership in a church (that church or a previous one) to grab onto one ‘error’ they percieve in that church and then satan comes in and divides them from the flock – he gets them alone and then…
- There is no real leadership in the so-called ‘Hebrew Roots’ movement – in fact what there is seems to be somewhat ‘predatory’ in that I have heard (from Mary Lou Lake) that witches have infiltrated the Hebrew Roots movement in Missouri. I have written also before about those who are being drawn away from Christ by Orthodox Jewish Rabbis who are then converting them to Judaism – and they no longer believe the Messiah has come! This is a huge problem, and just because I haven’t made that error doesn’t mean anything good about me! We are all vulnerable to error!
- I might be judged by them – actually that one doesn’t bother me so much, it’s more that a brief coversation can never reveal the deep reasoning behind my decision to follow God in this way, and there isn’t enough time to explain, and nor is it my role to explain (see point 1!)
Keeping quiet in this way is always a difficult line to draw – it really is. But I believe in the church leadership system in churches, and until or unless they themselves are convicted as I have been, it serves no purpose to speak out – it will only serve division.
What are your views? Maybe you have a church where you are in agreement, mostly – but if not, how do you cope with believing things different to the rest of your brothers and sisters? Perhaps you have a very different experience. Leave a comment and let me know!
God Bless you